


Two Minus One Equals Loneliness

by lasairfhiona



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Community: 1_million_words, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 08:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasairfhiona/pseuds/lasairfhiona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint is lonely and wishes things were different</p><p>1_million_words theme challenge of "Cry Me A River" prompt alone.<br/>Canon Character Death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Minus One Equals Loneliness

Clint dusted the cocoa from the counter with his hand and wiped it on his pant leg, uncaring about the brown streak marking his black cargo pants. He took the bowl of homemade chocolate sauce, a spoon and his banana to the table. Sitting, he slowly spooned the chocolate over the banana and ate it bit by bit, trying to ignore how much his heart clenched with every bite. Phil had taught him how to make the chocolate sauce for his ice cream.  The drizzling over a banana had been Phil's thing. Now it was his thing too.  Maybe even more than the ice cream. 

It was days like this, when he was feeling his lowest and missing Phil the most that he gave in and had the banana and chocolate, allowed the memories of what else they got up to with the chocolate sauce once the banana had been eaten. There were many nights it was spooned over his body. If he closed his eyes, he could picture Phil naked above him and sometimes he could feel the ghost of Phil's tongue licking the chocolate off him.  Shivering, he dropped the spoon and the last bite of banana, pushing both away.  He didn't know why he did this to himself. Tortured himself with memories of what never will be again. He missed Phil to the point it physically hurt. He wanted to pretend Phil was out there doing good and just couldn't come home, but he'd seen the video of Phil's death. Saw Phil's body. Touched his cold lifeless hand. He knew his fantasy was just that, a fantasy. Sometimes he still wanted to pretend even if it hurt more in the end, because in those times he was completely alone he needed to think Phil really was alive. 


End file.
